is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
