I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fuck me I smell like cheese
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
