I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
