Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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