that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
vagina is talking i cant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
