No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
