Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
