Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
