and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
