Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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