Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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