I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
