Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When are your genitals available?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
