I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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