please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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