OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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