I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
