so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
