Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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