I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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