im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want to make out with him forever
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
