I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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