Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
