Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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