whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
