Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
