And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
