in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
