Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
