If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
