it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
