the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
