i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
