this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
