So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
