Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
