The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
