foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
