I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Randomize
