you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
