Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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