The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
