i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
