I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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