sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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