she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
