you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
