they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
