you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
