I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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