I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
