you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
