Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
