needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
