I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
