And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
